You Know You've Encountered A Creepy Sales Guy When...

You walk out of the store, look down at your purchase, and aren't quite sure why you bought it.

If You Looked in the Dictionary Under "Creepy Sales Guy"...

Um, yeah, one of my least favorite cliches.

And of course there is no entry for "Creepy Sales Guy" in any dictionary.

And most dictionaries don't have pictures.


But let's run with that terrible cliche for this post...

Then layer on the absurd hypothetical of the dictionary defining phrases.

And finally, roll with another dictionary impossibility of pictures, then surely, SURELY, the entry for "Creepy Sales Guy" would include a picture of Drew Rosenhaus.







Angry Creepy














Creepy obfuscation











Creepy caught in a lie

Aloha to you, creepy Maui Jim sales guy!

While recently vacationing in Maui, I became well-acquainted with the Maui Jim kiosks (or, to put it more precisely, roadblocks) littering the landscape. Inevitably, they were manned by some greasy-haired dude with leathery orange-tan skin who would pull out all the stops to get you to listen to his spiel about the wonders of Maui Jim sunglasses while simultaneously working the chamois cloth on your current pair of shades to get them looking like new again (to thank you for your troubles in stopping to listen, of course). Irony being that with my beat-up old sunglasses looking sparkly and new again- the thought of dropping a few hundred bucks on the Maui Jim pair became that much less appealing. Oh silly little, creepy sales guy.

But What Would a Creepy Sales Guy Say?

Something like this perhaps...

(Creepy) Salesman, shouting to man with girlfriend: Have you been neglecting your butthole lately? I'm selling some nice greasy vibrators here!

Creepy ShamWow!

Creepy...




...Super Creepy

Creepy Sales Guy Rummaging Through a Cabinent

On the plus side, his shirt is tucked in. I have to admit, from this angle, he looks presentable. The picture links back to the original TwitPic post with a bit more context on why this guy is Creepy.

Welcome To Creepy Sales Guy

We all know a creepy sales guy ("Just One?" you might be asking...).

The examples abound: used cars, mattresses, rental apartments, above ground pools, RVs all seem to be things that must be sold by people who look like* shut-ins or registered sex offenders.

This blog will celebrate them.

My man Buddy Garrity (aka Brad Leland) from Friday Night Lights is perhaps THE creepy sales guy of the moment. Alas, he is only a fictional character. Going forward, we will endeavor to celebrate the REAL creepy sales guys in this world.


*Please note, I am not saying that creepy sales guys ARE all shut-ins or sex offenders, it's probably less than half.